The F Word

I am hoarder. Of physical things and emotional ones. I hold on to toys from my childhood and things said to me from my past I am a hoarder. I’ve got to admit it blocked a lot of my progress. I have been unable to find closet space because I can’t let go of those nice jeans. I’ve also been unable to move on because of all the emotional baggage I’ve carried. I am a hoarder. And I have hoarded my pain. And along with hoarding pain, you kinda seem to find you’ve got a lot of bitterness. And hate. And bad feelings towards people. And you know what all that feels like Baggage. Really. Heavy. Baggage. The alternative to all the pain? And baggage? Forgiveness. The dreaded F Word. Forgive. “Yeah but I’ve forgiven all the people who’ve done me wrong!” I lied to myself over and over again. I was so fast to throw around “I forgive you” without truly understanding what it meant. It meant to live without the burden of hate. To exist without bitterness. To be without holding on, remembering. To continue without spite. Because for a long time it was really all about me. But when do you know you’ve truly forgiven. And how do you forgive the people who you trusted and left. Friends who turned sour. Lovers who bred hate? I laughed when I heard this concept Grace. Like Grace the name of a girl? Grace. Gods grace. The same grace that allowed me who is far from perfect to continue to be forgiven by God. That I should accord that same Grace to those who hurt me. The same Grace if God who lived and died for me..he who I have lied to,turned away from, rejected. Grace. And because that amazing grace is accorded to me. Then I have no choice but to continue to accord that grace. If God can forgive me, who the heck am I to not forgive a person? No one. I am no one. Amazing Grace How sweet the sound That saved a wretch Like me… Love. ❤️ K